Toastmaster humorous speech contest - Battle called breakfast

If someone offered me two jobs from which I need to choose one.  First one to build a nuclear reactor and second one feed a 4 year old kid.  Definitely I will select the first one.

Good evening toast masters and respected evaluators.

Most of the bachelors in IT industry believe that, writing code is the most difficult task in this world. No my friends there are more.

When god blessed me with parenthood, my parents advised me.  “Look sreeji, you need to be very patient with your kid.  They are like blooming buds; you need to be very careful with them”

Then I replied.

“Oho really, where was this advice 30 years back, when I was a blooming bud?”

They looked at me angrily and told me, “be careful with our grand kid’s, otherwise you will regret”

My daughter is in LKG and her class starts at 8.45 am.  So she needs to leave at 7.45.  To meet with these deadlines she needs to wake up at 6.45 am.  And daily battle occurs between 6.45 and 7.45.
Few years back me and my wife decided until and unless we feel it’s a must, we won’t put a servant at home.  So we split the tasks at home.  Unfortunately it’s my duty to wake up my daughter and get her ready for school.

The only task for my wife is to comb her hair.  I tried it once, but after that my wife took over that job.  Well you know I got entirely different taste in hair dressing, I tried something new that day.

So the battle start with this announcement “Neeenu getup you need to go to school”

She will open her eyes scrub it and say, “No today is leave, teacher told me yesterday”.  Actually that’s the “Good morning” from her.

Then I will say “your teacher just called me and told me that she was wrong”.  The argument continues for 3 to 5 minutes.  Finally I will grab her and wash her face with cold water.  She will start crying, and by the time she finish her cry I will finish brushing her teeth and her bath.

Now the real battle starts.  I will stand in front of her with breakfast in one hand remote control of television in other hand.

“I want to see cartoon network”

So I switch the channel to cartoon network, after 5 minutes she will say I want to hear a story.  So I switch off the television and start telling a story, once upon a time there was a rabbit and tortoise in a jungle.

“I know this story tell me something else”

Then I will start another story, for all she will say, she know it.  Finally I will create my own story and say
“Once upon a time there was a person called Peeyush or Jerin in an IT company”.

After 3 minutes she will say, “I want to see Thomaskutty”

No he is not our neighbor, it’s the character played by actor Ashokan in the movie called “In harihar nagar”.

All this time I will be walking behind her with breakfast in my hand.  Then a series of requirements, like

“I don’t want chatney I want sugar”
“I don’t want sugar I want sauce”
“I want to stand on couch”
“I want to see the cow”
“Give me breakfast in bed”

And finally with little threat and with some sweet promises, I will finish it.  Dress her and send her to school.  And silently say to her.  “Lady you can’t beat me on this because I am working with a group of software engineers, sometimes they behave worse than this”